بخطوات بسيطة .. كيف تتعامل مع شخص يقلل من قيمتك؟
كيف تتعامل مع شخص يقلل من قيمتك ؟ سؤال يتردد في ذهن كل من يشعر بفقدان الثقة في نفسة واختلال توازنه وإحساسه بأنه شخص لا فائدة منه في هذه الحياة.. واحدة من أكثر المشاكل صعوبة في الحياة هي السماح لسلوك الآخرين بالتأثير على أنفسنا بشكل خاطئ، خاصة عندما نشعر بالرفض من جانب العائلة أو الأصدقاء أو زملاء العمل، فنحن دائمًا نميل إلى النظر لأنفسنا على أنهم خطأ أو لا يستحقون.. إذن ماذا تفعل عندما تشعر بأن الآخرين لا يقدرون قيمتك أو بمعنى أصح فن التعامل مع شخص يقلل من قيمتك؟ هذا ما سنجيب عليه في هذا المقال بالتفصيل.

محتويات المقالة
كيف تتعامل مع شخص يقلل من قيمتك ؟
في البداية.. لا تنخفض قيمتك بناءً على عدم قدرة شخص ما على رؤية قيمتك، إنها حقيقة بسيطة فأنت لا يمكنك أبدًا أن تكون منتجًا إذا تعهدت بالعديد من الالتزامات، فأنت ببساطة تحسب نفسك ضعيفًا جدًا ولن تتمكن من إنجاز أي شيء، ولا تعلم كيفية التعامل مع نفسك، على الأقل ليس جيدًا أو في الوقت المحدد، وإليكم الخطوات الصحيحة للتعامل مع الأشخاص الذين يقللون من قيمتك ووزنك:
1- لا تأخذ الأمر على المحمل الشخصي
إذا كان هذا الأمر ناتج من صديق لك في العمل أو مديرك أو والدك ووالدتك أو شخص يحبك؛ فلا تأخذ الأمر على المحمل الشخصي، فقد يكون أمر يمر بظرف ما سيئ، ونتج هذا الشعور من دون إدراك بأن هذا الأمر سيؤلمك ويجعلك تشعر بالإحراج.
2- عبر عن مشاعرك
في الغالب تنشأ العواطف عندما تنفجر بسبب شيء خارجك أو شيء ما يحدث بداخلك – هذه المشاعر هي أصدقاءنا.. العواطف هي طريقة داخل عقولنا لإعلامنا أننا لسنا على الطريق الصحيح لتلبية احتياجاتنا.. طريقة جيدة لتهدئة نفسك هي تحديد المشاعر بالاسم. أشعر بالغضب، أشعر بالألم، وما إلى ذلك، فمجرد قول ما تشعر به سوف يهدئك، ثم يمكنك أن تنظر إلى نفسك بدلاً من الآخرين.

3- أعد تأكيد قيمتك
إذا شعرت أنك تشك في قيمتك بسبب تصرفات الآخرين، أو حتى تشعر بفقدان الثقة؛ فأعلم جيدًا أنك تحدد قيمتك.. قيمتك لا تحددها أفعال أو أحكام الآخرين، كل ما عليك هو أن تقوم بإعِادة التأكيد على أنك تؤمن بقيمتك الذاتية.
4- التزم بحدودك
عليك أن تعرف جيدًا ما الذي ستقبله وما لن تقبله، ولا تسمح لنفسك بالضغط أو الشعور بالإذلال.. وعليك أن تتصرف وفقًا لمن مؤمن به، إن تحديدك لأفعالك يعني أنك تحدد أولويات احتياجاتك وعواطفك ولا تتحمل المسؤولية عن احتياجات ومشاعر شخص آخر.
5- أظهر التعاطف
إذا كان الشخص الذي نتج عنه هذا الفعل غاضبًا أو دفاعيًا أو خائفًا، فالتأكيد هو يعاني من اضطرابات ومشكلات نفسية، خاصة عندما تكون قد تحققت بالفعل مع نفسك وأدركت أنك على ما يرام، لذا عليك بمساعدته في تخفيف آلامه وحل مشكلاته. إذا لم تكن مساعدتك مطلوبة، فلا بأس بذلك أيضًا.. لانه لا يتم تحديد الذات من خلال ما إذا كان شخص ما يريد مساعدتك أو يستخدمها – إنها حقيقة أنك حاولت المساعدة وهذا بيان لقيمتك.
أخيرًا.. يمكننا أن نكون أصدقاء أفضل، وزملاء عمل أفضل؛ إذا أخذنا الأمور بشكل شخصي، وأدركنا عواطفنا، والتزمنا بحدودنا وأظهرنا تعاطفنا.
نظرية The triple approach
Alter Avoid ِAccept
هذه النظرية تم أستخدامها في كثير من المدارس النفسيه( علم النفس الإيجابي ), علي مستوي العالم بشكل كبير,
وهذه النظرية تقدم ثلاث طرق للتعامل مع اي الشخص يقلل من قيمتك ويؤزيك؟
1- Alter : تجنب
تجنب الشخص الذي يؤذيك, والذي يقلل منك ويستنزف من طاقتك,
تجنب تكرار الموقف الذي يحدث بسببه مشكلات بينك وبين الطرف الأخر بشكل دائم
تجنب الأماكن / التجمعات التي يكون بها أشخاص غير مشابهين لك أو تشعر بالضيق عندما تتعامل معهم
تجنب العادات غير المفيده التي تقوم بها وتكون سبب في حدوث مشاكل بينك وبين الطرف الأخر, لو هناك عاده سلبيه أنت تقوم بها وتكون سبب في حدوث مشاكل فامن الأفضل أن تتجنب هذه العاده
2- Alter : التغير
في حالة أنك لا تستطيع تجنب شخص معين مثل المدير في العمل أو الأب في البيت فامن الممكن أن تلجأ للحل الثالث وهو أن :
تغيير طريقة التعامل : أن تطلب من الأخرين أن يغيرو طريقة تعاملهم معك
وأن ترسم حدود بينك وبين الناس
أن تغير وجهة نظرك للأمور بحيث تنظر للأمور من وحهة نظر الشخص المقابل وليس بوجهة نظرك أنت
أن تغير رد فعلك مع المواقف السابقه علي سبيل المثال لو أنه عندما يحدث موقف معين ويكون رد فعلك له هو الأنسحاب فامن الأفضل أن تبدأ بتغير رد فعلك لمثل هذا الموقف
3- Accept : القبول
في حالة أنه لم تنجح معك أحدي الطرق السابقه فسوف تلجأ الي هذه الطريقة وهي :
القبول, وذلك أن تبحث لمعني سامي لوجود هذه الأشخاص في حياتك, أن تذكر نفسك دائما أن الله سبحانه وتعالي وضع أشخاص معينه في حياتك لكي تعلم أن ليس كل الأشخاص تحبك وتقدرك وأن تتعلم من هذه التجارب, وأن تتعلم أنك ليس بأنسان كامل, وأنه دائما هناك أشخاص تري انك لسة الأفضل, أن تجد لنفسك مبرر لوجود مثل هذه الأشخاص في حياتك
أن تتعلم مما حدث لك, وأن لاتقع في مثل هذا الأخطاء المواقف القادمه, وتتعلم أن تحاول أن تنتقي الأشخاص التي تتعامل معها
تحدث مع شخص اخر انت تثق به عن كل المور التي تشعر تجاهاه بالضيق,
تجنب ترك المشاعر السلبيه بدخلك فا من الأفضل لصحتك النفسه أن تفصح عما بدخلك للأخرين
كتاب the power of now : قوة الأن
أشار الكاتب أن كل المشاعر التي لاتعامل معها بشكل صحيح تختزل بداخلك وتسمي بالألم المصاحب للجسد, فأنت لابد أن تتعامل المواقف السيئة في حياتك, وابدء بتطبيق النظريه السابقه التي ذكرناها
كيف تتعامل مع شخص يقلل من قيمتك في العمل
- لا تنخرط إلى السلبية.
- التركيز على طموحك الشخصي.
- التفكير في أهدافك الشخصية فقط.
- محاولة الابتعاد قدر الإمكان عن التعامل معه.
- لا تتعامل مع الأمر على أنه أمر شخصي.
- فكر قليلا؟ لو كان النجاح سهلا لكان الكل ناجحا؟ ولكن لا طعم للنجاح بدون الصعاب.
أقرأ أيضًا :
المصادر
- كتاب فن التعامل مع الناس لـ دايل كارنيغي
- كتاب لا تتجاهل لـ هارون يحيي
- كتاب سيطر على حياتك الدكتور ابراهيم الفقي
- كتاب فن اللامبالاة مارك مانسون
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